Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Realization: "Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life." -Hinckley

Random Riddle:  What does 0 say to 8?

I have been pretty miserable lately, not a I-had-something-unexpected-and-tragic-happen, but a really-negative-opinion-of-myself, like, body image, sort of miserable.  There was a time, when I was young (okay, I am still young) and confident, and genuinely, exceptionally happy.  Every time I looked in the mirror . . . I liked what I saw- I was beautiful and I knew it.  Remembering how confident and comfortable I used to be in my own skin, seemed to make my misery even more potent.  On the verge of unbearable a handful of times.

Forget Me Not flower
found at http://www.hdtabletwallpapers.com
One day, my birthday actually, my Mom and I were chatting, and she shared a thought with me, which made a huge difference on my perspective.  In Alma 22:18, King Lamoni is praying to the Lord, and he promises, "I will give away all my sins to know thee."  My Mom wisely commented that sins (actions) could be changed to Satan's lies (thoughts).  It would then read, "I will give away all Satan's lies to know thee."  This really struck home for me!  I cannot believe God and Lucifer at the same time, it is not possible.  The scriptures state, "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one and despise the other." (Matthew 6:24)

One of Satan's lies that A LOT of women hold strongly to, myself included, is, they aren't enough if they don't have a sexy, athletic, skinny, fill-in-the-blank body. . . the list can go on.  And this negative thought, has been the origin of my misery for almost three years now, because I have been giving it such great control over my attitude.

There is a story told of an old Cherokee teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil: he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good: he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
(Elder Shayne M. Bowen, Agency and Accountability, Sept. 2012)

 Before either of my children I was quite confident with my body, but since the birth of my two children, all of that has dramatically changed.  I started comparing my weaknesses to others strengths. I started feeding the wrong wolf.

The video below, was also a huge perspective-changer.  I stumbled across it in a time of need, and it has helped me tremendously on my road of discovery about true happiness.

(Clicking Can Change Your Life by Hilary Weeks, found on YouTube by BillionClicksOrg)


It is easy now, to look in life's rear view mirror and understand why I was such a confident and genuinely happy person before.  My cup was always half full, I saw the best in everything, I filled my mind with positive thoughts, about myself and others.  President Gordon B. Hinckley so wisely stated, "There is nothing that dulls a personality so much as a negative outlook."

I am rededicating myself to the fight against negativity.  For "feelings of worth come when a woman follows the example of the Master." -Elder Nelson (Woman-- of Infinite Worth, 1989) 

I am going to choose to love myself.  I am going to believe and follow my Master and Savior.  And I will choose to live happily. . . ever after.

Answer:  Nice belt!!

2 comments:

  1. Love you Em! We all go through this and your right we need to feed the right wolf!

    ReplyDelete
  2. love the video, emily! i've been having an aweful struggle with the same thing lately after my 2 kiddos.

    ReplyDelete