To my sweetest Samuel

August 31, 2013

Today is a special day.  This particular day has already come and gone twice since the day you were born, and here it is again for the third time- your birthday.  You have been with us for three years, or you could say 1095 days or 65,700 hours or even 3,942,000 minutes.  However long it's been, whether measured in days or hours, it hasn't been long enough.  We still have many more days and years ahead of us.

I remember when I first felt your small movements inside my womb—it was a magical moment.  It was a surreal moment.  I couldn't have been more excited or more nervous.

I was going to have a baby. . . I was going to have you.

I remember how completely positive I was that you were going to be a little girl.  Imagine my surprise when Uncle Dave announced you were actually a little boy!  I was truly shocked, and I had no idea what to expect.  I felt inadequate- I know nothing about little boys.

When you were born you were so tiny!  And yet so big, at the same time-- over nine pounds of pure chunky adorableness.

It was so good to finally hold you in our arms.

Little did I know then the adventure you were soon to bring into my life.  I am not going to lie, we had a few long hard nights, but even more days full of delight and laughter.  Just you and me.  Although, sometimes we let Daddy in on our fun.

How quickly you have grown from newborn to toddler!  You can talk, walk, run.  You have favorites, for goodness sake.  You have so many opinions and even more questions.  I love it!  Just tonight, Daddy and I were asking you questions about yourself.  I asked you, if you could have any pet, what would you choose.  Your first answer was a fish, which quickly changed to a pig, til finally you settled on a doggie.  (But the pig was a close second.)  Then Daddy asked you what your favorite color was.  This question confused you slightly at first because there are "colors" and then there is "coloring"- two definitions of one word.  Daddy cleared it up by saying his favorite color was green and within seconds you piped up. . . your favorite color is ORANGE!  Orange, orange, orange.  My second question for you was, "When you get big like Daddy, what do you want to do?"  Your immediate response was, "I want to play with Daddy."  Not exactly what I was looking for but that is okay.  You have plenty of time.  Stay that way for a while longer.  Mommy still needs you to be her baby.

You fill my heart with joy, Samuel.  I hope you always know your Mommy loves you to the farthest star and back again.  I am so proud to call you my son.

Lots of love- always and forever,

Mommy

Beautifully, Messy Motherhood

Let's be honest, no one likes to talk about hard things- especially mothers concerning motherhood.  It is simply easier to talk about the things we enjoy, and hide the difficulties as far from us, or our friends, as possible.  But motherhood, real motherhood, is messy, and wonderful, at the same time.  I had one of those days this week, I can really only describe it as “messy”; I questioned if I was cut out for motherhood.  I curled up into a ball on my toddler’s bed, and hummed hymns to myself, while my children streaked by in their birthday suits, throwing toys, screaming at the top of their lungs.  (True story.)  Does that sound familiar, ladies?

I felt like a failure that day.  My exhaustion, housework, dinner . . . my children, were all pulling me different directions. I am sure I am not the only one who feels ashamed, to admit it out loud, but being a mother is really hard sometimes.

Sometimes, I speak harsh words.

Sometimes, I shout.

And other times I even . . . Y-E-double hockey sticks.

Monday, I fed my children Oreos for lunch.

Thursday, I forgot dinner entirely.

And Friday I fed Lily food that had fallen to the floor.

I might have even drove from here to Walmart without noticing Samuel wasn't strapped into his car seat, for the zillienth time.

Motherhood is really hard.  At times I wonder if I am ever going to get it right.  Or am I doomed to fall short of being a “prefect mother”?

But what is "right", and what is "failure" in motherhood?

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million to be a good one." -Jill Churchill

Motherhood is every woman's own journey.  So cheers to figuring it out, and enjoying the beauty of motherhood, ladies!

"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed." -Linda Wooten

Samuel says the darnedest things . . . (continued)

"Excuse me?  You need to come in my room.  I have toys."  Said to our quests, on multiple occasions. 7/5/13.


"You are Mommy.  This is Lily.  I am ... Alligator."  After Samuel's first dentist appointment, where the assistant told him to, "open his mouth like an alligator," Samuel has dubbed himself the mighty Alligator!  Like, that is what he wants me to call him sometimes, "Alligator."  7/10/13


"I wanna be married." Random statement said on our way to church.  7/28/13


Samuel: "Hey, hey, Daddy!  You wanna see my diaper?!  Daddy, you wanna see my diaper?"
Daddy: "Samuel, why would I want to see your diaper??"
Samuel: "Cause, cause ... it's about trucks!"
Daddy: "Oh, okay, lets see it."
Samuel: (zips down PJs) "SEE!"  Trucks on Pull- ups are just that awesome. 8/4/13


"She's poopy.  She's poopy!  Hey everybody!  SHE'S POOPY!!"  During scripture study at Grandma and Grandpa's house about Lily's poopy diaper.  8/15/13


Samuel: "How you get this rock?  How."
Uncle Brent: "That's a pretty awesome rock, huh?"
Samuel: "No.  It needs go outside."
Uncle Brent: "Why does it need to go outside?"
Samuel: "Cause it's a rock.  I take it outside."  There was a rock casually sitting on Uncle Brent's leg, and the rock police, Samuel, came in for the questioning.  8/18/13

If you happened to miss it, here is the first Samuel says the darnedest things. . .

Public again!!

I have created two separate versions of Little Mormon Mommy, one for the public and one for all my peeps.

I just re-sent invitations for the new private version of my blog, to all the email addresses I received previously.  If there is anyone who would like an invite and hasn't received one please feel free to ask. :D  I don't want to exclude anyone.

The Photo Booth

Sometimes AJ and I go on really fun dates.  Like Saturday when we crashed a wedding and took advantage of their little photo booth.

Awesome.

(I just wish their cake had been better.)

Ok.  Ok.  Ok.  So we didn't actually "crash" the wedding.  The bride was one of my Mom's young women, like, 16 years ago, and AJ happened to know the groom.  So we were semi-not-really-invited.

The Impact Photography Contest

Lately there has been a lot of this. . .

. . . And this . . .

. . . Filling up my Facebook.

Because I am determined to win a FREE family photo session for my parents.

This is the family picture currently hung on their wall . . .

Notice that Samuel is, like, FOUR months old.

I think it is fair to say my parents could really use some updated pictures.  You know, pictures that actually have Lily and my new brother-in-law, Steve, in them.  That would be good.  Our family has changed a lot since December 2010.

BUT FRIENDS!!  You need to enter the contest too.

Go to Impact Photography's blog and enter to win a FREE session (of your choice, excluding weddings) plus a 20" by 30" print of your favorite photo to hang on your wall.

It is so easy and you don't want to miss this!!

Public to Private...

As all of you know, my blog is no longer public.  Which I am really disappointed about, but a random man made three strange comments on pictures of my little boy in less than two hours.  (All of my peeps who love me don't even do that.)  So Little Mormon Mommy went private for the safety of my family.

But I wanted all of you to see the comments "Lazar Mihai" made about Samuel and a tell me what you think.  Were they innocent comments or creepy comments?  Did I act rashly when I made my blog private over a couple short comments?

The first comment he made was on my "Speaking of Toilets ..." blog post.  I was a little wary of his comment because really ... the pictures are HORRIBLE, poor quality bad lighting.  Defiantly not "beautiful.  Samuel completely adorable though.

His second comment was on "Lily's Cardiologist Appointment".  And I certainly noticed that he commented on two posts were my children weren't fully dressed, which really bothered me.

This was the last comment I allowed him to make before I made my blog private.  On "A man in overalls".  Elegant.  Really?  Why are you comment on yet another post were my son's chest is visible? 

Yet ... at the same time, I think my pictures are beautiful despite their lack of quality because they are pictures of my children.  I also like the stickers because I remember Samuel's excited reaction to them.  And I love the pictures of Samuel in his overalls because he was so proud he put them on all by him self.

I guess, I am just saddened that comments which would have made me happy from friends, terrify me from a stranger.

What has our world come to?

Am I having too little faith in the goodness of others?

P.S.  Keep your eyes open for comments from this guy because I have a lot of your blogs links on my blog.  (Because I just love to read all your blogs.)  I pray you don't have the same thing happen with any of your kids.