After my post,
Our experience with miscarriage, all my dear family and wonderful friends have been asking me, how am I doing, how am I feeling? (Which I have greatly,
greatly appreciated. Thank you everyone!) I have honestly been able to answer that I am doing really, really well. I am happy and I feel completely at peace with how everything has turned out. People have since stopped asking about my feelings and I was astonished when I experienced days where my heart was raw; the pain, the disappointment, and the heartache, everything, of our loss felt fresh and unbearable.
I was pregnant! . . . and now I am not. Just like that. I will never hold my baby, nor will I feel the small movements of that precious little one inside my womb. My stomach will not swell as my child, our child, grows within me. Nothing. All of it gone. I did not expect the pain, after the peace, yet I have come to realize, this is how it is going to be. I firmly believe, God will never let me experience anything I cannot overcome.
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| A sculpture in Slovakia, sculpted by Martin Hudáčeka Source |
*Disclaimer* This blog is written from the heart of a Latter-day Saint woman, and I found strength in the words of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' leaders and prophet. Their words don't pertain specifically to miscarriage, rather to any trial or hardship, big or small, we are called to bear. My hope is to give another the comfort and encouragement I found.
The Healing Power of Forgiveness
James E. Faust
Ensign, May 2007, 67-69
"All of us suffer some injuries from experiences that seem to
have no rhyme or reason. We cannot understand or explain them. We may never
know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering
is known only to the Lord. But because it happens, it must be endured.
President Howard W. Hunter said that 'God knows what we do not know and sees
what we do not see.'
“President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that
at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: ‘Every calamity that
can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare
them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. … Every trial and experience you have
passed through is necessary for your salvation.’”
A Disciple’s Journey
Bruce C. Hafen
BYU Devotional Address, 5 February 2008
"The paradox of a divine tutorial also includes afflictions
of some kind. Because Elder Maxwell was such a faithful student of
discipleship, I draw again from him: 'The very act of choosing to be a disciple
. . . can bring to us a certain special suffering,' because affliction and
chastening are 'a form of learning as it is administered at the hands of a
loving Father.' He also said, 'If we are serious about our discipleship,
Jesus will eventually request each of us to do those very things which are most
difficult for us to do.' And so, he said, 'sometimes the best people . . .
have the worst experiences . . . because they are the most ready to learn.'”
Be of Good Cheer
President Thomas S. Monson
Ensign, May, 2009, pp. 89,92
"None of us makes it through this life without problems and
challenges—and sometimes tragedies and misfortunes. After all, we are here to
learn and grow from such events in our lives. We know that there are times when
we will suffer, when we will grieve, and when we will be saddened. However, we
are told, 'Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have
joy.'- 2 Nephi 2:25"
"I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond
measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down
upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of
our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk
uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that
can defeat us."
"My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer.
The future is as bright as your faith.”
